My guest today for Treasure the Quiet Moments is Joan Leotta.

Facing the holidays after the death of a loved one can be difficult. [Click to Tweet]

Joan’s story is one that encourages hope. In the midst of her grief after the loss of her son, Joe – she began a tradition that brought about healing to her heart.

Joan’s newest children’s book is called, WHOOSH!

Grief and the Holidays [Click to Tweet]

By Joan Leotta

Thanksgiving was difficult in 2002, since on March 30 of that year, our son, Joe preceded us all into heaven.

Thanksgiving passed quietly. We had a Turkey, invited friends, but spent most of the meal and day thinking about the things Joe and his sister Jennie used to do on Thanksgiving…and missing him.

However, it was Christmas that blossomed into a full-blown problem.

We knew that we should not stop having Christmas. We knew that we needed Christmas joy. So, I baked and shopped—each time I saw a display of leather jackets I had to choke back tears (that was Joe’s last Christmas gift from us). Whenever a display of cranberry juice greeted me at a supermarket end cap, tears began—Joe loved cranberry juice. But I soldiered on through the sobbing.

Decorating brought another heart stop—the lights. My husband always put those up with Joe and in 2002, for the first time in many years he had to do them alone.

When I hung up the stockings on Christmas Eve, I could not bear to leave Joe’s in the box. So out it came.

Christmas morning, three stockings were lying on their sides on chairs, stuffed full of goodies. Only Joe’s remained hanging and still empty. I tried not to let my husband and my daughter see how much it bothered me. As we finished unwrapping our “treats from Santa” I devised a new plan for the stockings that would carry me through this tradition and has since made Christmas mornings much easier to bear.

Every Christmas Eve, when I become Santa Mom and fill the stockings (my husband fills mine), I add a letter to Joe telling him about the events of the year—when we thought of him, how much he would have enjoyed this or that and how he was always included in our hearts.

I put that letter in his stocking.

Now, after thirteen years, Joe’s stocking is beginning to look plump. Instead of Christmas being a time to mourn the loss of his presence, we celebrate how much fun we had on past Christmases with him and how he would have enjoyed what we are currently doing.

We celebrate (as in Romans 8: 38-39)that because we are in Christ, we cannot be separated from the love of God and I extrapolate that further to believe that because of that, love between believers is a line that cannot be broken. By including Joe in the stocking tradition, Christmas, instead of being a time of sorrow, has become one more reminder of the promise that the four of us, are still together and always will be.

Death cannot defeat love.

Joan has written about family relationships in her four novellas with Desert Breeze publishing, the Legacy of Honor series and in her first picture book, WHOOSH! she highlights the importance of father-daughter closeness. You can follow her blog on writing and performing and life in general at www.joanleotta.wordpress.com

Joan Leotta
Author, Story Performer
“Encouraging words through Pen and Performance”
Guilia Goes to War, Letters From Korea, A Bowl of Rice, Secrets of the Heart.
now available from Desert Breeze Publishing and Amazon
Simply a Smile–collection of Short Stories
from Cane Hollow Press and Amazon
WHOOSH! Picture book from TheaQ and Amazon
www.joanleotta.wordpress.com
910-575-0618

What has helped you with grief during the holidays?

There are many who may be reading this who are overcome by the emotions of missing someone they love. Your words can encourage them today.

You can find Joan Leotta’s Books at Amazon.com